[AusNOG] Common Sense needs to prevail

[Stephen Carter]

Not sure where Skeeve said he found his wife through sexual harassment, very poor form.



Stephen Carter



From: AusNOG <ausnog-bounces at lists.ausnog.net> On Behalf Of Mark Newton
Sent: Tuesday, 9 October 2018 9:23 AM
To: Skeeve Stevens <skeeve+ausnog at eintellegonetworks.com>
Cc: <ausnog at lists.ausnog.net> <ausnog at lists.ausnog.net>
Subject: Re: [AusNOG] Common Sense needs to prevail

So the message here is that we should go easy on sexual harassment at AusNOG events because you did alright out of it.

Loud and clear.

    - mark
--
Tiny screen, imaginary keyboard.


On 9 Oct 2018, at 08:31, Skeeve Stevens <skeeve+ausnog at eintellegonetworks.com<mailto:skeeve+ausnog at eintellegonetworks.com>> wrote:
I hate to do this. I'm going to contradict my previous post about this not being the forum for such discussions.

This post is not to start another thread war, so if you want to abuse or say something else to me, please do it off-list.

I've been catching up on the posts re Sexual Harassment in our industry. I didn't read all of them, there were just too many. So I don't know if this perspective was addressed.

Firstly, I will state categorically that Sexual Harassment is wrong. SEXUAL HARASSMENT is wrong. Flirting or saying hi to a cute girl (or guy) is not wrong.

I hate seeing people go politically correct mad and destroying perfectly good situations because of a few idiots who should be punished. That said, the incident should be looked into to make sure facts/accusations are accurate, as a misunderstanding or wrong accusation can easily destroy someone as badly as being actually sexually harassed. Bevan was right to make the announcement, and right to send the warning of what would occur next time.

But we need to make sure our industry doesn't have all the fun and opportunity to meet new people squeezed out of it. I'd hate to see events where people are afraid to even say hi to someone they fancy (damn I'm old) due to incidents such as these.

I say this because I have a different experience than most people here in that I met my wife at an Ausnog event.

It was an industry drinks (pre-conference I believe for Ausnog #2)... there was a cute girl named Shanti (white) and her friend Lynette (Sri Lankan) which I found highly amusing based on their names. We had lots of fun with that and there was much flirting to be had.  I wasn't too naughty (based on the result), but I do recall my staff carrying me out of that event due to way too much alcohol.

It turns out Shanti was the one managing the event on loan from Vocus. As a sponsor of Ausnog #2, I had some interactions with Shanti the following few days (my staff were previously doing it - but I was smitten), and during the actual conference spent most of the time outside doing more flirting with this amazingly cute girl who for some reason was giving me the time of day.

I don't recall any of that event really except Vijay Gill being awesome and Geoff Huston doing his thing. Apart from that... no idea.. I was a little smitten.

A few days later I headed to Christchurch for my first APNIC event (#26) on James Spenceleys recommendation and by some stroke of luck (for me), James brought along Shanti too.  Well, that was that. It was my first APNIC, and James asked Shanti to 'keep me amused' [it was all his fault!!] as we were obviously getting on well. Well, that was the end of that.

10 years later, and recently having our 7th Wedding anniversary, and being the happiest husband ever that I met and fell for one of the very few women at the AusNOG conference.

So. Sexual Harassment is bad bad bad... and anyone who does anyone that is not welcome should be taken care of harshly. But, trying to meet people, is not a bad thing, and as long as people are respectful, people should continue to continue to have fun at these events and not be scared of meeting new people, for whatever reasons.

...Skeeve

Skeeve Stevens - Founder & Chief Architect - eintellego Networks Pty Ltd
skeeve at eintellegonetworks.com<mailto:skeeve at eintellegonetworks.com> ; www.eintellegonetworks.com<http://www.eintellegonetworks.com/>

Phone: 1300 239 038; Cell +61 (0)414 753 383 ; skype://skeeve

facebook.com/eintellegonetworks<http://facebook.com/eintellegonetworks> ; linkedin.com/in/skeeve<http://linkedin.com/in/skeeve>
Cumulus Linux / Open Networking - Cloud - Consulting - Juniper - Cisco - IPv4 Brokering
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